Are you living Day to Day?

Words of wisdom from a multi-millionaire...

"The very poor live day-to-day, the poor live week-to-week, the middle class live month-to-month, the wealthy live year-to-year and the very wealthy live decade-to-decade" - Kyle Pacetti

Wow. I can’t stop thinking about how true this is. Imagine how this can affect the decisions we make. I've been everywhere from poor to very ‘comfortable’… I can attest to this. When money is tight you can’t even see beyond the week or the month and you make decisions accordingly. When things are going very well then you can plan out a year in advance. I would love to get to the point where I can plan out decades in advance.

I started to really think about this in terms of mindset and ethics. Think of someone who is very poor and living day-to-day. If someone struggles to get through the day and someone leaves a $20 bill unattended on the table do they take it? I’m sure we all know someone who would. I suspect they would have a way to justify to themselves as well… Perhaps saying that if the roles were reversed, the other person would do the same. Maybe they would justify by saying they need it more. On the other hand, what if this person were wealthy? Would they take it? I highly doubt it…

There was another successful speaker that spoke of the fact that she gets to change lives for a living. The money is really just a bonus. I totally understand. I believe that we all need to make a living and so why not earn your living by doing something with the purpose and intention of helping others. However, at the same time I looked around the room and saw that some people were rolling their eyes.

Why is it that some people think that it’s all about the money?

I believe that our current circumstances shape how we perceive the intent of other people. If things are rough in your life and someone approaches you with a way to help you that has a dollar figure attached to it, you might immediately become skeptical and defensive. What’s more is that you don’t have to be homeless to be in a bad situation. Maybe there is some uncertainty in your job… any time fear creeps in you will potentially react in a negative way to people who are trying to help.

Bottom line is that, it is okay to be skeptical. There are certainly people out there trying to scam you.  However, there are also so many people out there who want to help you. Just learn to ask the right questions. It is important to find out what the "win-win" situation is. If you can be clear on what each of you gain from the deal then you can make a better decision on whether you should move forward.

Who's the Boss?

It's 11pm and I’ve just had a totally unproductive day. It seems like I just keep getting pulled in so many directions that it is hard to get anything done. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes planning my day tomorrow and I hope that I can get my things done.

Sound familiar? For me this cycle repeats daily.

‘We are constantly being tugged on from a thousand different directions, so your ability to be productive & ultimately achieve your big hairy audacious goals has more to do with all the things you DON’T do versus the things you do. Doing MORE is not the answer. Doing less is. Saying “no” to more things so you can say “yes” to the right things is the key to taking you more efficiently & expeditiously toward your goals.’ - Darren Hardy

I get this. I just don't always know how to  it. I know I'm being too nice. As soon as someone needs me I cave. What is worse is that today, technology has made me way too accessible. People can get ahold of me by text, phone, facebook, email, twitter… The list goes on and on. It seems that everyone's priorities are SO urgent and my priorities pale in comparison. Not to mention the guilt trip I get if I do happen to say "no".

I attended a leadership conference a couple months ago that spoke about "being your own boss". The only 'job' of a boss is to make sure the work gets done. To be completely honest, I have done a very bad job at being my own boss. 

We need to take more responsibility for advancing our own lives forward… Which means being the boss. Otherwise, we let other people and other circumstances take over.

'If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you will fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.' - Jim Rohn

Picture this. You were at work, the boss gave you a serious deadline and a friend asked you for a favor what would you do? I bet you would say; "I'm so sorry, I can't, my boss is on my back about getting this work done."

So why is it easier to say no when there is a "boss" telling us what to do?

I had an ‘a-ha’ moment. I know that I have a hard time saying no and taking the "blame" for disappointing a friend. When I have a "boss" then it is not my fault. So I decided. Why not implement my own boss? It sounds crazy but if you adopt the mindset of an employee then you can blame the boss all you want. When someone pulls you in a direction other than the one that your 'boss' has defined for you, then blame the boss.

Here's how I did it. I put the "boss" hat on and I define all the goals and tasks for the day. My "employee" self has no choice but to finish what is on the list. I also add 1 more "miscellaneous" task to my schedule. When I am asked for a favor I simply say "I need to check my schedule, just send me a quick text/email to remind me." I never drop what I'm doing to take care of the favor. I simply finish what I'm doing and then take care of the miscellaneous task.

So I ask you this.  Are you ready to be the boss?

Control the Goal and get what you want

I attended an excellent seminar a few years ago about Goal Setting and I had an epiphany. I had been setting goals for myself for years and I did not realize that I was doing it all wrong. I wasn't setting goals. I was setting desired outcomes.

As we ring in the New Year, some people are setting New Years Resolutions, while others have lost faith.  They feel discouraged due to their lack of follow through on last year's resolutions.

Let's face it, most resolutions are merely a wish list.  People talk about losing weight, quitting smoking or making more money but they have no plan in order to make that happen.  Obviously, with no real goals or plans they are destined to fail.  However, what about the people who are serious?

For serious people who set real goals but still fail, maybe this will help you.

For the last few years, most of my goals have been dependent on other people. I had goals to grow my business to a certain income or to increase my presence as an artist by landing gigs in specific bars. The problem is that those goals depend on me convincing other people to do something.  As we know, other people are unpredictable. So when things don’t work out as expected, what happens? I become discouraged and set another “lesser” goal. Of course, this does not make me feel confident and productive.

A goal is an action that you take that is only dependent on you. Otherwise, it is a desired outcome. 

That means that my desired outcome was to increase the profit of my business. The actual goal would be to make 20 prospecting calls per day. If you rely on statistics, then by accomplishing your real daily activity goal, you will likely hit your desired outcome. However, the important thing is that you do the best you can to hit your activity goal.

In sports, you rarely hear professionals talking about how they are going to win the game. Typically, you hear them say that they will “go out there and perform at their personal best”. This is a goal. If they end up losing the game, there is no reason for them to feel bad about themselves as long as they performed at their personal best. The desired outcome is out of their control but the activity goal is completely within their control.

I found this new way of looking at goals to be very liberating. I can now focus only on what I can do in order to move forward and reach my potential. When I set an activity goal and I do my best but still fail to achieve my desired outcome, then I know that I have to increase my activity.  However, if I fail to take the action then I have only myself to blame.  There are no excuses.  By setting goals that I can control and by taking action to the best of my ability, then I will hit more of my desired outcomes and feel better and more productive regardless of the outcome.

Something to think about!

The mistake I couldn't afford

Almost 4 years ago...

I'm sitting at the airport.  I just missed my flight to Denver, Colorado. I am supposed to go there to learn about a new health challenge that could help eliminate obesity. I used to have a great job in high tech, but I got laid off. I decided to start working with a handful of small businesses to take care of their technology needs. I am not even making enough money to cover my expenses yet, but the business is growing and I am hopeful. Either way, I used all my points (totaling $800) on this flight and the ticket desk is telling me that it will cost another $900 to get to Denver today.

I can’t afford to spend the money...

Wait… did I just say that?

I first learned about the challenge about a month ago… and it sounds amazing. Everyone around me is overweight and I can’t think of one person who is getting healthier. If this challenge is able to turn the trend, then I could make millions. Still, I haven’t spent one second sharing it with anyone. I’m so busy trying to get my computer business off the ground.

I can’t afford to spend the time...

Oh no… I just said it again!

What is wrong with me? I have no extra money. I have no extra time. I’m sitting in an airport with a chance to go learn about something that could make me millions and give me my time back and I can’t afford it?

What if my car broke down?  What if I had a health scare that wasn't covered by insurance? I would find the money.  I have spent thousands last year on eating out, pubs, TV, movies, sporting events, computer equipment and gadgets that I didn't even need… I found the money for that.

What I’m really saying is that I can’t afford to waste time and money. If I’m going to spend my time and my money I want to make it worth it. I feel that the car, food and fun will be worth it, so I find the money. I know what to expect.

This ‘health challenge’ is an unknown. Is it going to work? Are people going to try it? 

Back to the airport... I think to myself.  In 5 years from now... if I still have no extra time and no extra money… How do I want to look back on today?  Do I want to talk about how I wasted a couple grand trying to change the world and it didn't work?  Do I want to regret not spending the couple grand for a chance at changing the world and my life?

I can live with my mistakes. I've made plenty and I've spent thousands on weekends that I barely remember… I do not want to live with regrets. I can’t afford to miss a chance to get myself out of debt.  I can't afford to miss a chance to free my time so that I don’t have to work like a slave until I’m 65 and miss my son’s life.

I spent the $900.  That $2000 dollar trip has earned me close to a quarter million in almost 4 years.

Albert Einstein once said; "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

If you have no time and no money then can you afford to be in the same position next year?  If not, then it is time to start spending your time and money differently.

Are you really "thinking about it"?

I am about 11 years old and laying out in the hot sun with some friends at the neighborhood pool. My friends decide to try the high diving board.  To impress the girls, and in the excitement of the moment, I think this is an excellent idea.  Finally, it is my turn.  As I climb the ladder, I feel it in my stomach.  Time slows down as my friends are watching in anticipation.  I walk to the end of the diving board and look down.  Wow... It looks so much higher from up here.  I walk back and take a deep breath.  I figure I need to take a minute...  It seems that the more time I take, the more terrified I get.  Finally... screw it.  I run and jump...  landing flat on my belly.  It hurt like crazy, but I did it.

Have you ever had a great idea?  You got super excited about it and started to plan it out in your head.  Then you decide to "sleep on it"...  Morning comes, doubt sets in, and the "genius" idea is much less exciting. You continue with your day and think about it later... Then you determine that it's not really a very good idea after all and scrap it. Months later, someone else has it implemented!!!

"The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it". - The Law of Diminishing Intent

Just like the high diving board sounded like a great idea, the more I thought about it, the more I felt the fear.  Everyone is watching me... What if I make a fool of myself?  Let's look at another scenario.  Want to lose weight?  A friend tells you about a program that works.  You get excited at first, but the more you "think about it", you wonder... Can I stick to this plan?  What if I fail?  What happens when I stop the program?  Sound familiar?

"We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don't translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can't be found." - Jim Rohn

Do you believe that a good decision needs to be thought out completely?  It is good to know the facts... The problem is that most of us use "thinking about it" as an excuse so we can put off decisions until the excitement wears off.

“Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly.” - Andy Andrews

Leaders often make multi-million dollar decisions with incomplete information.  They take advice from trusted partners that have knowledge in the particular field and move forward.  It is far more difficult to shake a successful person off their path than it is to get them on the path in the first place.

Are there things that you want but have not taken action on yet?  Why not?  Have you been passing up opportunities so you could "think about it"?  Is it time to change the pattern?  You already know what you want, and you likely already know how to get it.

The word "decide" comes from the Latin dēcīdere literally, to cut off.  When you truly "decide", you must cut off from other options. Trust your first instinct.  You will never really know until you try.   If you land flat on your belly, at least it will make for a great story.  If you "think about it" then you always wonder "what if" and regret the chances you didn't take.

The best decision is the right one.  The second best decision is the wrong one.  The WORST decision is no decision at all.  Make a decision, take action and do it now.  

The ties that bind

Imagine when you meet someone for the first time, there is a small elastic band that attaches you to them. Each time you meet the person again it gets thicker. The more experiences and the deeper the “connection” between the two of you, the stronger the elastic band gets. As we go through life, there are some people that become very close, some not at all.

Now, imagine we are all magnets. The choices we make have consequences that pull fortune to us… good or bad. If one of the people that we are connected to attracts good fortune, we often get to experience it with them…same with bad fortune.

Think of the people in your life that “pull” you through bad times. Now think of the people that you are pulling... at times you may even carry them on your back. Have you ever had someone that was such a drag on your energy that you felt physically tired after a conversation with them? Have you ever broken the link with one of these people? It’s like the elastic snaps under the strain. It seems that after the elastic breaks, the positive person shoots into good fortune and the one who was dragging often goes into a fit of despair.

I looked up what happens when you put two magnets together. When two magnets are put together they will attract each other and form a combined force.

When two positive people get together they combine their energy and are able to attract even more good fortune. Two negatives do the same to attract bad fortune. It is important to be careful who you connect with…However, you can use the elastics to pull each other through. Thoughts become actions and people tend to think about positive things when they are surrounded by positive people. The key is to be more consistent with your positive thoughts and actions than the other person is with their negative thoughts and actions. 

The choices we make are often due to the circumstances that we find ourselves in… Although, circumstances are often due to the choices we've already made. It depends on whether most of our decisions are made out of love and abundance or out of fear and lack. I understand that sometimes fear is the right choice. When a tiger comes after you, love is not the best option. However, I've noticed that most people make “fear” based decisions like “I'm scared I won’t be good enough” or “lack” based decisions like “I don’t have what it takes”. It is important to make decisions like “I'm going to try my best and learn from my mistakes” and “how can I find the resources I need to succeed?”.

The best way to achieve a goal is to find someone who has already done it and do what they do. You have to keep in mind that successful people are often very in tune with the energy you bring to the table. If you are not willing to accept their guidance you will likely not remain their friend for long. If you can be open to letting them “pull” you by taking action on the advice that they give then you will start to see success. Then you can keep the positive energy flowing by paying it forward and helping someone else.

Do you really "believe" that?

I walk into the room and I see a massive spread of seafood… So elegant... It looks amazing. I don’t even know what most of it is, but it just smells rich. Only one problem. I don’t eat seafood. I have been successful at avoiding it for my whole life. 

So there I was. Looking at probably the most expensive spread of food I've ever seen in my life and my “belief” was that I didn't like seafood. I remember thinking at that moment… Why do I believe this? What is a belief anyway? I've heard this definition of a belief:

A belief is a strong feeling of certainty.

A belief is neither truth nor certainty. A belief is a feeling. Our feelings are affected by our thoughts. So that means that by changing our thoughts consciously we can change our beliefs. I started to weigh the pros and cons of this belief. I decided that not eating seafood is a belief that didn't serve me any more. Maybe in the past I was able to get some feeling of individuality.. being a Maritimer who doesn't like seafood… I couldn't even remember exactly why I decided to believe that.

So I filled my plate… a little bit of everything. I ate it all and it was marvelous.

That day I learned a lesson. We all have beliefs. Some of them are serving and some not. We all have the ability to decide what to believe. I know it sounds too simple, but is that a good enough reason to not “believe” what I'm saying?

If you have a dream and you have not achieved it yet, then you have a barrier. You have a belief (or two) that is standing in the way of your success. Maybe you believe you are too young, too old, no time, no money, can’t afford it… that’s a good one. Either way, it is simply a belief. The reality is that there is someone out there who has achieved their dreams and they have the same “excuse” as you have. That means that they were able to change their belief system and so can you.

So what do you think? Is it time to get your beliefs working for you or do you have a reason to keep them working against you? Fortunately, it is a choice. Choose wisely.