The mistake I couldn't afford

Almost 4 years ago...

I'm sitting at the airport.  I just missed my flight to Denver, Colorado. I am supposed to go there to learn about a new health challenge that could help eliminate obesity. I used to have a great job in high tech, but I got laid off. I decided to start working with a handful of small businesses to take care of their technology needs. I am not even making enough money to cover my expenses yet, but the business is growing and I am hopeful. Either way, I used all my points (totaling $800) on this flight and the ticket desk is telling me that it will cost another $900 to get to Denver today.

I can’t afford to spend the money...

Wait… did I just say that?

I first learned about the challenge about a month ago… and it sounds amazing. Everyone around me is overweight and I can’t think of one person who is getting healthier. If this challenge is able to turn the trend, then I could make millions. Still, I haven’t spent one second sharing it with anyone. I’m so busy trying to get my computer business off the ground.

I can’t afford to spend the time...

Oh no… I just said it again!

What is wrong with me? I have no extra money. I have no extra time. I’m sitting in an airport with a chance to go learn about something that could make me millions and give me my time back and I can’t afford it?

What if my car broke down?  What if I had a health scare that wasn't covered by insurance? I would find the money.  I have spent thousands last year on eating out, pubs, TV, movies, sporting events, computer equipment and gadgets that I didn't even need… I found the money for that.

What I’m really saying is that I can’t afford to waste time and money. If I’m going to spend my time and my money I want to make it worth it. I feel that the car, food and fun will be worth it, so I find the money. I know what to expect.

This ‘health challenge’ is an unknown. Is it going to work? Are people going to try it? 

Back to the airport... I think to myself.  In 5 years from now... if I still have no extra time and no extra money… How do I want to look back on today?  Do I want to talk about how I wasted a couple grand trying to change the world and it didn't work?  Do I want to regret not spending the couple grand for a chance at changing the world and my life?

I can live with my mistakes. I've made plenty and I've spent thousands on weekends that I barely remember… I do not want to live with regrets. I can’t afford to miss a chance to get myself out of debt.  I can't afford to miss a chance to free my time so that I don’t have to work like a slave until I’m 65 and miss my son’s life.

I spent the $900.  That $2000 dollar trip has earned me close to a quarter million in almost 4 years.

Albert Einstein once said; "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

If you have no time and no money then can you afford to be in the same position next year?  If not, then it is time to start spending your time and money differently.

Are you really "thinking about it"?

I am about 11 years old and laying out in the hot sun with some friends at the neighborhood pool. My friends decide to try the high diving board.  To impress the girls, and in the excitement of the moment, I think this is an excellent idea.  Finally, it is my turn.  As I climb the ladder, I feel it in my stomach.  Time slows down as my friends are watching in anticipation.  I walk to the end of the diving board and look down.  Wow... It looks so much higher from up here.  I walk back and take a deep breath.  I figure I need to take a minute...  It seems that the more time I take, the more terrified I get.  Finally... screw it.  I run and jump...  landing flat on my belly.  It hurt like crazy, but I did it.

Have you ever had a great idea?  You got super excited about it and started to plan it out in your head.  Then you decide to "sleep on it"...  Morning comes, doubt sets in, and the "genius" idea is much less exciting. You continue with your day and think about it later... Then you determine that it's not really a very good idea after all and scrap it. Months later, someone else has it implemented!!!

"The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it". - The Law of Diminishing Intent

Just like the high diving board sounded like a great idea, the more I thought about it, the more I felt the fear.  Everyone is watching me... What if I make a fool of myself?  Let's look at another scenario.  Want to lose weight?  A friend tells you about a program that works.  You get excited at first, but the more you "think about it", you wonder... Can I stick to this plan?  What if I fail?  What happens when I stop the program?  Sound familiar?

"We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don't translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can't be found." - Jim Rohn

Do you believe that a good decision needs to be thought out completely?  It is good to know the facts... The problem is that most of us use "thinking about it" as an excuse so we can put off decisions until the excitement wears off.

“Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly.” - Andy Andrews

Leaders often make multi-million dollar decisions with incomplete information.  They take advice from trusted partners that have knowledge in the particular field and move forward.  It is far more difficult to shake a successful person off their path than it is to get them on the path in the first place.

Are there things that you want but have not taken action on yet?  Why not?  Have you been passing up opportunities so you could "think about it"?  Is it time to change the pattern?  You already know what you want, and you likely already know how to get it.

The word "decide" comes from the Latin dēcīdere literally, to cut off.  When you truly "decide", you must cut off from other options. Trust your first instinct.  You will never really know until you try.   If you land flat on your belly, at least it will make for a great story.  If you "think about it" then you always wonder "what if" and regret the chances you didn't take.

The best decision is the right one.  The second best decision is the wrong one.  The WORST decision is no decision at all.  Make a decision, take action and do it now.  

Do you really "believe" that?

I walk into the room and I see a massive spread of seafood… So elegant... It looks amazing. I don’t even know what most of it is, but it just smells rich. Only one problem. I don’t eat seafood. I have been successful at avoiding it for my whole life. 

So there I was. Looking at probably the most expensive spread of food I've ever seen in my life and my “belief” was that I didn't like seafood. I remember thinking at that moment… Why do I believe this? What is a belief anyway? I've heard this definition of a belief:

A belief is a strong feeling of certainty.

A belief is neither truth nor certainty. A belief is a feeling. Our feelings are affected by our thoughts. So that means that by changing our thoughts consciously we can change our beliefs. I started to weigh the pros and cons of this belief. I decided that not eating seafood is a belief that didn't serve me any more. Maybe in the past I was able to get some feeling of individuality.. being a Maritimer who doesn't like seafood… I couldn't even remember exactly why I decided to believe that.

So I filled my plate… a little bit of everything. I ate it all and it was marvelous.

That day I learned a lesson. We all have beliefs. Some of them are serving and some not. We all have the ability to decide what to believe. I know it sounds too simple, but is that a good enough reason to not “believe” what I'm saying?

If you have a dream and you have not achieved it yet, then you have a barrier. You have a belief (or two) that is standing in the way of your success. Maybe you believe you are too young, too old, no time, no money, can’t afford it… that’s a good one. Either way, it is simply a belief. The reality is that there is someone out there who has achieved their dreams and they have the same “excuse” as you have. That means that they were able to change their belief system and so can you.

So what do you think? Is it time to get your beliefs working for you or do you have a reason to keep them working against you? Fortunately, it is a choice. Choose wisely.

The catch to Network Marketing

I was lucky… Ok, fine, I don’t believe in luck so I’ll use the word “fortunate”. When I started in Network Marketing close to a decade ago, I already knew I was crazy so I wasn't surprised when my friends told me it wouldn't work. Luckily… er… fortunately, I'm a student. I like to learn. I like to try new things and take risks, so I think that’s why I wasn't discouraged by the “haters”.

Unfortunately, most of the people that I brought into my Network Marketing business had a harder time ignoring those who didn't support them. It took me a very long time to figure out what was happening… what was different about me. When I first learned about Network Marketing, I did my research. I found that a very small percentage of people in the industry succeed… Most fail and many are very angry about failing. However, I feel that if one person can succeed so can I... I believed.

I heard a training last night from one of my mentors. He revealed the catch to Network Marketing. Here it is:

You must be willing to accept a temporary loss of social self esteem from ignorant people - Eric Worre

Wow… I totally get it. I remember the ridicule, the jokes, the laughing, the anger. I realize now that the people that care for me didn't mean to crush my spirit. They just didn't understand what I was trying to do. They actually believed that I was wasting my time. Everyone reacts differently. Some people showed genuine concern that I had been ripped off and joined a “pyramid scam”... Some people made fun of me for being stupid. Some people actually became angry… very angry. I think they believed that I was dumb enough to get sucked in by a scam and that I was trying to get them into one too.

So there it is… the catch… Everything comes at a price. Network Marketing is a vehicle that can help you reach all your dreams. You can earn unlimited income. You can have time freedom. You can travel the world. You can leave a legacy for your family. The catch is that most people do not believe this is possible for them. Some of them will refuse to believe that it is possible for you too. Remember though… There are some, like you and like me, who DO believe. Your success depends on your ability to find them. You must also understand that you cannot change other people. You cannot make them believe by talking… You must make them believe through action.

We have to recognize that this is a numbers game. We are looking for people who already believe. The more people who are willing to do the work to succeed, the more believers we can create.

Well… what are you waiting for? Let’s get to work on your dreams and let’s inspire the world to follow in our footsteps.

Define "Greedy" : Is it true that the rich take from the poor?

I was talking to a good friend of mine and the conversation went to money and wealth.  His father happens to be wealthy and he used the word “greedy” to describe rich people.

I stopped him right there since I wanted to understand more about how he was thinking.  I asked him to define greedy…  Interestingly enough, he couldn't give me an answer other than “a person who has a lot of money”.  Clearly that is not the definition.

I looked it up.  Here is the “full definition” according to Websters.

 a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

This brought up so many questions.

 How much money does one need?  I suppose it would depend on their lifestyle.  What does a person have to do in order to get this money?  Do they need to do something they don’t like and get paid just enough to cover their basic expenses?  Does this mean that a person can earn a passive income that covers basic expenses but no more?

 I think, when it comes to money, the word “need” is extremely subjective.  The word "selfish" and the word "excessive" are just as subjective.

 Here’s how I see it…  If there are 2 people and 4 pieces of pie.  If one were to grab 3 before the other person gets a chance, then I think we can all say that this is greedy.  However, what if there were 10 pieces of pie and I grabbed 3.  Would I still be greedy?  Same number… but what has changed is the number of pieces to start with.  I think someone is “greedy” if they take more than their share.

 Here’s the thing about money.  There is no limit.  They keep printing more.  A lot of people look at the gap between the rich and the poor and think that rich people take money from poor people and therefore they have “more than their share”.  However, it doesn't work that way.  Rich people do different things to attract the money they have.  Anyone (especially in north america) has the same opportunity.  Many of us simply leave the money on the table since we are scared to take a risk and someone else comes and picks it up.

 Opportunity is all around us, but for whatever reason most people don’t seize it.  It is usually those same people that end up complaining about the gap between the rich and the poor.

 Money is a powerful tool and if you can attract enough to pay your bills and enjoy life experiences, then you can use the surplus to start changing the world.  Set up charities… Donate time and money to a cause.  If you give more than you use for yourself you are definitely not greedy.

Tension vs Pressure : How to build your business without being "pushy"

When I started my first home business I remember having a mental block. I had a very hard time taking the order. I didn't want to feel like I was pressuring anyone. I don’t think that I’m the only one who feels like this… Maybe you feel this way too?

The bottom line is that if you don’t ask for the order then you will never get it. People very rarely come running at you with their money. If you want to become successful you will need to take some initiative. So the question is… How can you do it without being “pushy”?

The answer is that there is a very big difference between pressure and tension.

Pressure is something that is applied from the outside. It is when someone is trying to “talk you into it”. It makes you feel uncomfortable and if they are successful and getting you to buy, it is only because you want the pressure to stop. If you've ever said… “ok, ok, fine, I’ll buy it”, then you have experienced pressure.

Tension, on the other hand, is something that builds within. When you build tension you make your prospect come to you. You show them the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Then you show that your product/service is the bridge that will get them there.

Here’s how it plays out. You get your prospect informed and at the end you ask them the question… Are you ready to get started?

Then comes the silence. This silence is going to be EXTREMELY uncomfortable for you. You will want to jump in and do something. It is very important to recognize that the uncomfortable feeling is not shared by your prospect. The prospect is feeling tension. They are NOT uncomfortable. They are thinking. They are going through the options and making a decision. Your job is to keep quiet and let them come to you. 

There are two common mistakes...

1. You can either apply pressure… “come on… you know you want it… just get started”.
2. You can let them off the hook… “why don’t you think about it and get back to me tomorrow”.

Both of those options are going to create serious problems. If you apply pressure, then the second they leave your house and get in the car, they will start thinking that they got “sold”. If you let them leave and “think about it”... they will likely talk themselves out of it. The longer you take to make a decision to do something that you know you need to do, the less likely you are to do it.

All you need to do is let the tension build and then pass them a pen. If they make the decision to start then you know that they've made the decision for the right reasons and they will be teachable and much more pleasant to work with. If they decide to say no, then you can scratch them off the list for now and move on.

No Pain No Gain

Today I learned that a promoter in my team believes that this just “isn't for him”. He’s got goals, dreams and great work ethic. However, he says that he can’t get himself to contact and invite. He knows what to do, but says that doing it simply “isn't in him”.

Allow me to use an analogy. I just finished day 83 of my 90 day fitness challenge. Almost every single time I workout, I struggle mentally with it. I start trying to talk myself out of the workout and have to psych myself back into it. I have definitely thought to myself that I working on my fitness “isn’t for me” many times.

Pursuing a business goal is a lot like pursuing a fitness goal. It takes hard work and perseverance. We can try to talk ourselves out of it all we want and say that “it isn’t for me” but what does that mean? Do you really think that some of us are just not meant to be successful? Do you think that some people just naturally find success easy and they never reach any roadblocks? I can tell you from experience that this is absolutely ridiculous. Just like every human being has the ability to work on their health by eating right and exercising whether they feel like it or not, every human being also has the ability to become successful by taking action regardless of whether they feel like it or not.

If success was simple then we would all have it. The reality is that it is a mental struggle. Feelings of unworthiness, uncertainty, doubt and fear are absolutely normal. We all worry about what others will think and say. However, it is through surviving the attempt that we gain the confidence to succeed. Keep your eye on the goal. Whether the goal is ten reps or ten calls it's the same thing. Just do it.

Give and Take

Have you ever tried to pay for someone’s lunch only to get an almost violent reaction? Do you have people in your life that say things like “I keep giving and giving and I never get anything in return”?

Well you aren't alone. It seems that as a society we are conditioned to give but not receive since we don’t want to seem “greedy” or “needy”. How does that affect those around us?

Consider this. I remember when I was a boy and I got my first paper route. I was so proud of the money that I had earned and I was so grateful that I went out and bought gifts for everyone in my family. I remember specifically going to Sears and buying a pair of earrings for my mom. I can’t remember what I spent, but on a paper route salary, it couldn't have been more than 15 dollars. I wrapped it up and handed it proudly to my mom. I don’t even know if she had the little box open yet before she burst in tears. The feeling that came over me was incredible. For years, I've tried to recreate that feeling in my mother. I was addicted to “making my mom cry”. Now imagine if my mom had refused to accept the gift because I “shouldn't have”...

We all have a gift or talent to give. However, if you never use this talent, then does it really have value? If a musician has the ability to move a room with their music but they never play for anyone then what value do they have? Our gifts are meant to be given... However, if there is no one willing to accept this gift then the giver’s potential will never be achieved.

Value is only created through exchange... Through the “give and take”. The key is to balance the two.

My parents have been married for 37 years. I have always remembered one thing they said years back. They said that every day, each of them try to find ways to make each others’ day easier. Imagine that. They consciously look for ways to give to each other. I can just imagine if you are a giver, this might even infuriate you to think that you've been outdone! Imagine ending the day realizing that you have to work twice as hard tomorrow because your partner did more for you than you did for them.

However, this is not the reality for most of us. Most of us are in a relationship where one is a giver and the other is the taker. The giver feel under appreciated, but continues to give because they feel a sense of importance. Like they are a “savior” because they feel that their partner would surely fall apart without them. The reality is that they will never achieve their full potential because they are pouring all their value into a black hole.

Maybe the natural reaction to not take is because we don’t feel confident in our ability to give back what we've taken and we feel that being in “debt” is uncomfortable. Instead, why not find ways to give back.

It’s time to wake up. The Beatles said, “in the end love you take is equal to the love you make”. If you are a taker... start giving! However, more importantly, if you are a giver, start taking. You are depriving those around you the feeling of importance that giving provides.