Control the Goal and get what you want

I attended an excellent seminar a few years ago about Goal Setting and I had an epiphany. I had been setting goals for myself for years and I did not realize that I was doing it all wrong. I wasn't setting goals. I was setting desired outcomes.

As we ring in the New Year, some people are setting New Years Resolutions, while others have lost faith.  They feel discouraged due to their lack of follow through on last year's resolutions.

Let's face it, most resolutions are merely a wish list.  People talk about losing weight, quitting smoking or making more money but they have no plan in order to make that happen.  Obviously, with no real goals or plans they are destined to fail.  However, what about the people who are serious?

For serious people who set real goals but still fail, maybe this will help you.

For the last few years, most of my goals have been dependent on other people. I had goals to grow my business to a certain income or to increase my presence as an artist by landing gigs in specific bars. The problem is that those goals depend on me convincing other people to do something.  As we know, other people are unpredictable. So when things don’t work out as expected, what happens? I become discouraged and set another “lesser” goal. Of course, this does not make me feel confident and productive.

A goal is an action that you take that is only dependent on you. Otherwise, it is a desired outcome. 

That means that my desired outcome was to increase the profit of my business. The actual goal would be to make 20 prospecting calls per day. If you rely on statistics, then by accomplishing your real daily activity goal, you will likely hit your desired outcome. However, the important thing is that you do the best you can to hit your activity goal.

In sports, you rarely hear professionals talking about how they are going to win the game. Typically, you hear them say that they will “go out there and perform at their personal best”. This is a goal. If they end up losing the game, there is no reason for them to feel bad about themselves as long as they performed at their personal best. The desired outcome is out of their control but the activity goal is completely within their control.

I found this new way of looking at goals to be very liberating. I can now focus only on what I can do in order to move forward and reach my potential. When I set an activity goal and I do my best but still fail to achieve my desired outcome, then I know that I have to increase my activity.  However, if I fail to take the action then I have only myself to blame.  There are no excuses.  By setting goals that I can control and by taking action to the best of my ability, then I will hit more of my desired outcomes and feel better and more productive regardless of the outcome.

Something to think about!

Do you really "believe" that?

I walk into the room and I see a massive spread of seafood… So elegant... It looks amazing. I don’t even know what most of it is, but it just smells rich. Only one problem. I don’t eat seafood. I have been successful at avoiding it for my whole life. 

So there I was. Looking at probably the most expensive spread of food I've ever seen in my life and my “belief” was that I didn't like seafood. I remember thinking at that moment… Why do I believe this? What is a belief anyway? I've heard this definition of a belief:

A belief is a strong feeling of certainty.

A belief is neither truth nor certainty. A belief is a feeling. Our feelings are affected by our thoughts. So that means that by changing our thoughts consciously we can change our beliefs. I started to weigh the pros and cons of this belief. I decided that not eating seafood is a belief that didn't serve me any more. Maybe in the past I was able to get some feeling of individuality.. being a Maritimer who doesn't like seafood… I couldn't even remember exactly why I decided to believe that.

So I filled my plate… a little bit of everything. I ate it all and it was marvelous.

That day I learned a lesson. We all have beliefs. Some of them are serving and some not. We all have the ability to decide what to believe. I know it sounds too simple, but is that a good enough reason to not “believe” what I'm saying?

If you have a dream and you have not achieved it yet, then you have a barrier. You have a belief (or two) that is standing in the way of your success. Maybe you believe you are too young, too old, no time, no money, can’t afford it… that’s a good one. Either way, it is simply a belief. The reality is that there is someone out there who has achieved their dreams and they have the same “excuse” as you have. That means that they were able to change their belief system and so can you.

So what do you think? Is it time to get your beliefs working for you or do you have a reason to keep them working against you? Fortunately, it is a choice. Choose wisely.

Define "Greedy" : Is it true that the rich take from the poor?

I was talking to a good friend of mine and the conversation went to money and wealth.  His father happens to be wealthy and he used the word “greedy” to describe rich people.

I stopped him right there since I wanted to understand more about how he was thinking.  I asked him to define greedy…  Interestingly enough, he couldn't give me an answer other than “a person who has a lot of money”.  Clearly that is not the definition.

I looked it up.  Here is the “full definition” according to Websters.

 a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

This brought up so many questions.

 How much money does one need?  I suppose it would depend on their lifestyle.  What does a person have to do in order to get this money?  Do they need to do something they don’t like and get paid just enough to cover their basic expenses?  Does this mean that a person can earn a passive income that covers basic expenses but no more?

 I think, when it comes to money, the word “need” is extremely subjective.  The word "selfish" and the word "excessive" are just as subjective.

 Here’s how I see it…  If there are 2 people and 4 pieces of pie.  If one were to grab 3 before the other person gets a chance, then I think we can all say that this is greedy.  However, what if there were 10 pieces of pie and I grabbed 3.  Would I still be greedy?  Same number… but what has changed is the number of pieces to start with.  I think someone is “greedy” if they take more than their share.

 Here’s the thing about money.  There is no limit.  They keep printing more.  A lot of people look at the gap between the rich and the poor and think that rich people take money from poor people and therefore they have “more than their share”.  However, it doesn't work that way.  Rich people do different things to attract the money they have.  Anyone (especially in north america) has the same opportunity.  Many of us simply leave the money on the table since we are scared to take a risk and someone else comes and picks it up.

 Opportunity is all around us, but for whatever reason most people don’t seize it.  It is usually those same people that end up complaining about the gap between the rich and the poor.

 Money is a powerful tool and if you can attract enough to pay your bills and enjoy life experiences, then you can use the surplus to start changing the world.  Set up charities… Donate time and money to a cause.  If you give more than you use for yourself you are definitely not greedy.

No Pain No Gain

Today I learned that a promoter in my team believes that this just “isn't for him”. He’s got goals, dreams and great work ethic. However, he says that he can’t get himself to contact and invite. He knows what to do, but says that doing it simply “isn't in him”.

Allow me to use an analogy. I just finished day 83 of my 90 day fitness challenge. Almost every single time I workout, I struggle mentally with it. I start trying to talk myself out of the workout and have to psych myself back into it. I have definitely thought to myself that I working on my fitness “isn’t for me” many times.

Pursuing a business goal is a lot like pursuing a fitness goal. It takes hard work and perseverance. We can try to talk ourselves out of it all we want and say that “it isn’t for me” but what does that mean? Do you really think that some of us are just not meant to be successful? Do you think that some people just naturally find success easy and they never reach any roadblocks? I can tell you from experience that this is absolutely ridiculous. Just like every human being has the ability to work on their health by eating right and exercising whether they feel like it or not, every human being also has the ability to become successful by taking action regardless of whether they feel like it or not.

If success was simple then we would all have it. The reality is that it is a mental struggle. Feelings of unworthiness, uncertainty, doubt and fear are absolutely normal. We all worry about what others will think and say. However, it is through surviving the attempt that we gain the confidence to succeed. Keep your eye on the goal. Whether the goal is ten reps or ten calls it's the same thing. Just do it.