Who's the Boss?

It's 11pm and I’ve just had a totally unproductive day. It seems like I just keep getting pulled in so many directions that it is hard to get anything done. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes planning my day tomorrow and I hope that I can get my things done.

Sound familiar? For me this cycle repeats daily.

‘We are constantly being tugged on from a thousand different directions, so your ability to be productive & ultimately achieve your big hairy audacious goals has more to do with all the things you DON’T do versus the things you do. Doing MORE is not the answer. Doing less is. Saying “no” to more things so you can say “yes” to the right things is the key to taking you more efficiently & expeditiously toward your goals.’ - Darren Hardy

I get this. I just don't always know how to  it. I know I'm being too nice. As soon as someone needs me I cave. What is worse is that today, technology has made me way too accessible. People can get ahold of me by text, phone, facebook, email, twitter… The list goes on and on. It seems that everyone's priorities are SO urgent and my priorities pale in comparison. Not to mention the guilt trip I get if I do happen to say "no".

I attended a leadership conference a couple months ago that spoke about "being your own boss". The only 'job' of a boss is to make sure the work gets done. To be completely honest, I have done a very bad job at being my own boss. 

We need to take more responsibility for advancing our own lives forward… Which means being the boss. Otherwise, we let other people and other circumstances take over.

'If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you will fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.' - Jim Rohn

Picture this. You were at work, the boss gave you a serious deadline and a friend asked you for a favor what would you do? I bet you would say; "I'm so sorry, I can't, my boss is on my back about getting this work done."

So why is it easier to say no when there is a "boss" telling us what to do?

I had an ‘a-ha’ moment. I know that I have a hard time saying no and taking the "blame" for disappointing a friend. When I have a "boss" then it is not my fault. So I decided. Why not implement my own boss? It sounds crazy but if you adopt the mindset of an employee then you can blame the boss all you want. When someone pulls you in a direction other than the one that your 'boss' has defined for you, then blame the boss.

Here's how I did it. I put the "boss" hat on and I define all the goals and tasks for the day. My "employee" self has no choice but to finish what is on the list. I also add 1 more "miscellaneous" task to my schedule. When I am asked for a favor I simply say "I need to check my schedule, just send me a quick text/email to remind me." I never drop what I'm doing to take care of the favor. I simply finish what I'm doing and then take care of the miscellaneous task.

So I ask you this.  Are you ready to be the boss?

The ties that bind

Imagine when you meet someone for the first time, there is a small elastic band that attaches you to them. Each time you meet the person again it gets thicker. The more experiences and the deeper the “connection” between the two of you, the stronger the elastic band gets. As we go through life, there are some people that become very close, some not at all.

Now, imagine we are all magnets. The choices we make have consequences that pull fortune to us… good or bad. If one of the people that we are connected to attracts good fortune, we often get to experience it with them…same with bad fortune.

Think of the people in your life that “pull” you through bad times. Now think of the people that you are pulling... at times you may even carry them on your back. Have you ever had someone that was such a drag on your energy that you felt physically tired after a conversation with them? Have you ever broken the link with one of these people? It’s like the elastic snaps under the strain. It seems that after the elastic breaks, the positive person shoots into good fortune and the one who was dragging often goes into a fit of despair.

I looked up what happens when you put two magnets together. When two magnets are put together they will attract each other and form a combined force.

When two positive people get together they combine their energy and are able to attract even more good fortune. Two negatives do the same to attract bad fortune. It is important to be careful who you connect with…However, you can use the elastics to pull each other through. Thoughts become actions and people tend to think about positive things when they are surrounded by positive people. The key is to be more consistent with your positive thoughts and actions than the other person is with their negative thoughts and actions. 

The choices we make are often due to the circumstances that we find ourselves in… Although, circumstances are often due to the choices we've already made. It depends on whether most of our decisions are made out of love and abundance or out of fear and lack. I understand that sometimes fear is the right choice. When a tiger comes after you, love is not the best option. However, I've noticed that most people make “fear” based decisions like “I'm scared I won’t be good enough” or “lack” based decisions like “I don’t have what it takes”. It is important to make decisions like “I'm going to try my best and learn from my mistakes” and “how can I find the resources I need to succeed?”.

The best way to achieve a goal is to find someone who has already done it and do what they do. You have to keep in mind that successful people are often very in tune with the energy you bring to the table. If you are not willing to accept their guidance you will likely not remain their friend for long. If you can be open to letting them “pull” you by taking action on the advice that they give then you will start to see success. Then you can keep the positive energy flowing by paying it forward and helping someone else.