The ties that bind

Imagine when you meet someone for the first time, there is a small elastic band that attaches you to them. Each time you meet the person again it gets thicker. The more experiences and the deeper the “connection” between the two of you, the stronger the elastic band gets. As we go through life, there are some people that become very close, some not at all.

Now, imagine we are all magnets. The choices we make have consequences that pull fortune to us… good or bad. If one of the people that we are connected to attracts good fortune, we often get to experience it with them…same with bad fortune.

Think of the people in your life that “pull” you through bad times. Now think of the people that you are pulling... at times you may even carry them on your back. Have you ever had someone that was such a drag on your energy that you felt physically tired after a conversation with them? Have you ever broken the link with one of these people? It’s like the elastic snaps under the strain. It seems that after the elastic breaks, the positive person shoots into good fortune and the one who was dragging often goes into a fit of despair.

I looked up what happens when you put two magnets together. When two magnets are put together they will attract each other and form a combined force.

When two positive people get together they combine their energy and are able to attract even more good fortune. Two negatives do the same to attract bad fortune. It is important to be careful who you connect with…However, you can use the elastics to pull each other through. Thoughts become actions and people tend to think about positive things when they are surrounded by positive people. The key is to be more consistent with your positive thoughts and actions than the other person is with their negative thoughts and actions. 

The choices we make are often due to the circumstances that we find ourselves in… Although, circumstances are often due to the choices we've already made. It depends on whether most of our decisions are made out of love and abundance or out of fear and lack. I understand that sometimes fear is the right choice. When a tiger comes after you, love is not the best option. However, I've noticed that most people make “fear” based decisions like “I'm scared I won’t be good enough” or “lack” based decisions like “I don’t have what it takes”. It is important to make decisions like “I'm going to try my best and learn from my mistakes” and “how can I find the resources I need to succeed?”.

The best way to achieve a goal is to find someone who has already done it and do what they do. You have to keep in mind that successful people are often very in tune with the energy you bring to the table. If you are not willing to accept their guidance you will likely not remain their friend for long. If you can be open to letting them “pull” you by taking action on the advice that they give then you will start to see success. Then you can keep the positive energy flowing by paying it forward and helping someone else.

Do you really "believe" that?

I walk into the room and I see a massive spread of seafood… So elegant... It looks amazing. I don’t even know what most of it is, but it just smells rich. Only one problem. I don’t eat seafood. I have been successful at avoiding it for my whole life. 

So there I was. Looking at probably the most expensive spread of food I've ever seen in my life and my “belief” was that I didn't like seafood. I remember thinking at that moment… Why do I believe this? What is a belief anyway? I've heard this definition of a belief:

A belief is a strong feeling of certainty.

A belief is neither truth nor certainty. A belief is a feeling. Our feelings are affected by our thoughts. So that means that by changing our thoughts consciously we can change our beliefs. I started to weigh the pros and cons of this belief. I decided that not eating seafood is a belief that didn't serve me any more. Maybe in the past I was able to get some feeling of individuality.. being a Maritimer who doesn't like seafood… I couldn't even remember exactly why I decided to believe that.

So I filled my plate… a little bit of everything. I ate it all and it was marvelous.

That day I learned a lesson. We all have beliefs. Some of them are serving and some not. We all have the ability to decide what to believe. I know it sounds too simple, but is that a good enough reason to not “believe” what I'm saying?

If you have a dream and you have not achieved it yet, then you have a barrier. You have a belief (or two) that is standing in the way of your success. Maybe you believe you are too young, too old, no time, no money, can’t afford it… that’s a good one. Either way, it is simply a belief. The reality is that there is someone out there who has achieved their dreams and they have the same “excuse” as you have. That means that they were able to change their belief system and so can you.

So what do you think? Is it time to get your beliefs working for you or do you have a reason to keep them working against you? Fortunately, it is a choice. Choose wisely.

The catch to Network Marketing

I was lucky… Ok, fine, I don’t believe in luck so I’ll use the word “fortunate”. When I started in Network Marketing close to a decade ago, I already knew I was crazy so I wasn't surprised when my friends told me it wouldn't work. Luckily… er… fortunately, I'm a student. I like to learn. I like to try new things and take risks, so I think that’s why I wasn't discouraged by the “haters”.

Unfortunately, most of the people that I brought into my Network Marketing business had a harder time ignoring those who didn't support them. It took me a very long time to figure out what was happening… what was different about me. When I first learned about Network Marketing, I did my research. I found that a very small percentage of people in the industry succeed… Most fail and many are very angry about failing. However, I feel that if one person can succeed so can I... I believed.

I heard a training last night from one of my mentors. He revealed the catch to Network Marketing. Here it is:

You must be willing to accept a temporary loss of social self esteem from ignorant people - Eric Worre

Wow… I totally get it. I remember the ridicule, the jokes, the laughing, the anger. I realize now that the people that care for me didn't mean to crush my spirit. They just didn't understand what I was trying to do. They actually believed that I was wasting my time. Everyone reacts differently. Some people showed genuine concern that I had been ripped off and joined a “pyramid scam”... Some people made fun of me for being stupid. Some people actually became angry… very angry. I think they believed that I was dumb enough to get sucked in by a scam and that I was trying to get them into one too.

So there it is… the catch… Everything comes at a price. Network Marketing is a vehicle that can help you reach all your dreams. You can earn unlimited income. You can have time freedom. You can travel the world. You can leave a legacy for your family. The catch is that most people do not believe this is possible for them. Some of them will refuse to believe that it is possible for you too. Remember though… There are some, like you and like me, who DO believe. Your success depends on your ability to find them. You must also understand that you cannot change other people. You cannot make them believe by talking… You must make them believe through action.

We have to recognize that this is a numbers game. We are looking for people who already believe. The more people who are willing to do the work to succeed, the more believers we can create.

Well… what are you waiting for? Let’s get to work on your dreams and let’s inspire the world to follow in our footsteps.

Define "Greedy" : Is it true that the rich take from the poor?

I was talking to a good friend of mine and the conversation went to money and wealth.  His father happens to be wealthy and he used the word “greedy” to describe rich people.

I stopped him right there since I wanted to understand more about how he was thinking.  I asked him to define greedy…  Interestingly enough, he couldn't give me an answer other than “a person who has a lot of money”.  Clearly that is not the definition.

I looked it up.  Here is the “full definition” according to Websters.

 a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

This brought up so many questions.

 How much money does one need?  I suppose it would depend on their lifestyle.  What does a person have to do in order to get this money?  Do they need to do something they don’t like and get paid just enough to cover their basic expenses?  Does this mean that a person can earn a passive income that covers basic expenses but no more?

 I think, when it comes to money, the word “need” is extremely subjective.  The word "selfish" and the word "excessive" are just as subjective.

 Here’s how I see it…  If there are 2 people and 4 pieces of pie.  If one were to grab 3 before the other person gets a chance, then I think we can all say that this is greedy.  However, what if there were 10 pieces of pie and I grabbed 3.  Would I still be greedy?  Same number… but what has changed is the number of pieces to start with.  I think someone is “greedy” if they take more than their share.

 Here’s the thing about money.  There is no limit.  They keep printing more.  A lot of people look at the gap between the rich and the poor and think that rich people take money from poor people and therefore they have “more than their share”.  However, it doesn't work that way.  Rich people do different things to attract the money they have.  Anyone (especially in north america) has the same opportunity.  Many of us simply leave the money on the table since we are scared to take a risk and someone else comes and picks it up.

 Opportunity is all around us, but for whatever reason most people don’t seize it.  It is usually those same people that end up complaining about the gap between the rich and the poor.

 Money is a powerful tool and if you can attract enough to pay your bills and enjoy life experiences, then you can use the surplus to start changing the world.  Set up charities… Donate time and money to a cause.  If you give more than you use for yourself you are definitely not greedy.

Our Love/Hate Relationship with money

Do you hate money? Let’s face it, you don’t hate money. You hate not having money. What’s more is that you hate what some other people who don’t have money do in order to get it.

So why is it that so many of us have a negative relationship with money? How is the relationship with money affecting the choices we make? Is it possible that we are sabotaging ourselves and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps us broke?

The school system does not teach us finances and as a society, we are discouraged from discussing money with our peers. This means that unless you are lucky enough to have financially educated parents, the only financial education you get is from tv or worse yet, from credit card companies and banks that earn their living by helping us create debt.

Let’s just break it down a little. Money is just paper. The only reason that money has any value at all is because our society has given it value. Money equals value. Therefore, we can exchange money for anything of value… A table, a car, a haircut, food… in some cases, even people. If money didn't exist then how would we get something of value? It is through giving value. You need to give to get. 

Value is meant to be in motion. The same goes for money. If you have something of value but you don’t share it then you will receive nothing. If you hang on to money long enough, it’s value decreases with time as well. In order to keep it growing it must be used. The problem is that most of us use it to buy liabilities and luxuries. These things cost money to upkeep and they also cost us time to use.

What if we spent our money on increasing our own ability to create value? Through investing in ourselves we can learn new skills and develop talents that provide value in the lives of others. If we spend our extra time and money on making ourselves more valuable to others then it will also allow us to attract more money.

The money that we earn in our jobs is directly proportional to the value that the job has on the marketplace as well as the number of people willing to do that same job for the same pay. The more valuable the job is and the more difficult or time consuming it is to learn the skills needed to perform that job… like a doctor for example… the more money it earns. It’s called “supply and demand”.

Schools are definitely one way to increase your value but be careful. School is a business and they market courses as such. This means that just because a course is offered, that does not mean there is a job waiting for you when you complete the course. You must do the market research to find out if there is demand for this particular skill or knowledge.

I do recommend that you invest as much time and money as possible to grow your personal library. Find books that are empowering and uplifting. Find topics that are in demand in the workplace and find a mentor that has been successful and do what they do. 

Always remember, that if you can find a way to provide more value, either directly or indirectly through teaching others, then you will attract as much wealth as you can handle and you’ll never “need” money again.

Tension vs Pressure : How to build your business without being "pushy"

When I started my first home business I remember having a mental block. I had a very hard time taking the order. I didn't want to feel like I was pressuring anyone. I don’t think that I’m the only one who feels like this… Maybe you feel this way too?

The bottom line is that if you don’t ask for the order then you will never get it. People very rarely come running at you with their money. If you want to become successful you will need to take some initiative. So the question is… How can you do it without being “pushy”?

The answer is that there is a very big difference between pressure and tension.

Pressure is something that is applied from the outside. It is when someone is trying to “talk you into it”. It makes you feel uncomfortable and if they are successful and getting you to buy, it is only because you want the pressure to stop. If you've ever said… “ok, ok, fine, I’ll buy it”, then you have experienced pressure.

Tension, on the other hand, is something that builds within. When you build tension you make your prospect come to you. You show them the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Then you show that your product/service is the bridge that will get them there.

Here’s how it plays out. You get your prospect informed and at the end you ask them the question… Are you ready to get started?

Then comes the silence. This silence is going to be EXTREMELY uncomfortable for you. You will want to jump in and do something. It is very important to recognize that the uncomfortable feeling is not shared by your prospect. The prospect is feeling tension. They are NOT uncomfortable. They are thinking. They are going through the options and making a decision. Your job is to keep quiet and let them come to you. 

There are two common mistakes...

1. You can either apply pressure… “come on… you know you want it… just get started”.
2. You can let them off the hook… “why don’t you think about it and get back to me tomorrow”.

Both of those options are going to create serious problems. If you apply pressure, then the second they leave your house and get in the car, they will start thinking that they got “sold”. If you let them leave and “think about it”... they will likely talk themselves out of it. The longer you take to make a decision to do something that you know you need to do, the less likely you are to do it.

All you need to do is let the tension build and then pass them a pen. If they make the decision to start then you know that they've made the decision for the right reasons and they will be teachable and much more pleasant to work with. If they decide to say no, then you can scratch them off the list for now and move on.

No Pain No Gain

Today I learned that a promoter in my team believes that this just “isn't for him”. He’s got goals, dreams and great work ethic. However, he says that he can’t get himself to contact and invite. He knows what to do, but says that doing it simply “isn't in him”.

Allow me to use an analogy. I just finished day 83 of my 90 day fitness challenge. Almost every single time I workout, I struggle mentally with it. I start trying to talk myself out of the workout and have to psych myself back into it. I have definitely thought to myself that I working on my fitness “isn’t for me” many times.

Pursuing a business goal is a lot like pursuing a fitness goal. It takes hard work and perseverance. We can try to talk ourselves out of it all we want and say that “it isn’t for me” but what does that mean? Do you really think that some of us are just not meant to be successful? Do you think that some people just naturally find success easy and they never reach any roadblocks? I can tell you from experience that this is absolutely ridiculous. Just like every human being has the ability to work on their health by eating right and exercising whether they feel like it or not, every human being also has the ability to become successful by taking action regardless of whether they feel like it or not.

If success was simple then we would all have it. The reality is that it is a mental struggle. Feelings of unworthiness, uncertainty, doubt and fear are absolutely normal. We all worry about what others will think and say. However, it is through surviving the attempt that we gain the confidence to succeed. Keep your eye on the goal. Whether the goal is ten reps or ten calls it's the same thing. Just do it.

Give and Take

Have you ever tried to pay for someone’s lunch only to get an almost violent reaction? Do you have people in your life that say things like “I keep giving and giving and I never get anything in return”?

Well you aren't alone. It seems that as a society we are conditioned to give but not receive since we don’t want to seem “greedy” or “needy”. How does that affect those around us?

Consider this. I remember when I was a boy and I got my first paper route. I was so proud of the money that I had earned and I was so grateful that I went out and bought gifts for everyone in my family. I remember specifically going to Sears and buying a pair of earrings for my mom. I can’t remember what I spent, but on a paper route salary, it couldn't have been more than 15 dollars. I wrapped it up and handed it proudly to my mom. I don’t even know if she had the little box open yet before she burst in tears. The feeling that came over me was incredible. For years, I've tried to recreate that feeling in my mother. I was addicted to “making my mom cry”. Now imagine if my mom had refused to accept the gift because I “shouldn't have”...

We all have a gift or talent to give. However, if you never use this talent, then does it really have value? If a musician has the ability to move a room with their music but they never play for anyone then what value do they have? Our gifts are meant to be given... However, if there is no one willing to accept this gift then the giver’s potential will never be achieved.

Value is only created through exchange... Through the “give and take”. The key is to balance the two.

My parents have been married for 37 years. I have always remembered one thing they said years back. They said that every day, each of them try to find ways to make each others’ day easier. Imagine that. They consciously look for ways to give to each other. I can just imagine if you are a giver, this might even infuriate you to think that you've been outdone! Imagine ending the day realizing that you have to work twice as hard tomorrow because your partner did more for you than you did for them.

However, this is not the reality for most of us. Most of us are in a relationship where one is a giver and the other is the taker. The giver feel under appreciated, but continues to give because they feel a sense of importance. Like they are a “savior” because they feel that their partner would surely fall apart without them. The reality is that they will never achieve their full potential because they are pouring all their value into a black hole.

Maybe the natural reaction to not take is because we don’t feel confident in our ability to give back what we've taken and we feel that being in “debt” is uncomfortable. Instead, why not find ways to give back.

It’s time to wake up. The Beatles said, “in the end love you take is equal to the love you make”. If you are a taker... start giving! However, more importantly, if you are a giver, start taking. You are depriving those around you the feeling of importance that giving provides.

Crabs in a bucket

Have you ever heard the expression “Crabs in a Bucket?”

I've never tried this experiment, but this is from the “urban dictionary”.

“When a single crab is put into a lidless bucket, they surely can and will escape. However, when more than one share a bucket, none can get out. If one crab elevates themselves above all, the others will grab this crab and drag'em back down to share the mutual fate of the rest of the group. "

Have you ever felt this way? When I was a kid, I felt like I was different. I knew that I wanted to be wealthy. I believe very strongly in abundance. However, the people around me all seemed to have different attitudes. When I shared my goals and dreams, I was met with discouraging advice. I believe that we can all have what we want, but I kept hearing the word “greedy” every time I talked about the wealth that I wanted to amass.

I spent some time thinking about the word “greed” over the last several years... I can understand that there is a lot of greed and corruption, but I don’t believe it is as it seems.

Greed is defined as this;

“a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed”

There are two things that I’d like to draw attention to. Let’s start with “selfish”. If you and a friend are sitting at the dinner table and there are two slices of pizza. You grab both before your friend gets a chance to take one, then I would describe that as being greedy. However, if there were four slices to start and you took two are you still greedy? You still had two slices, why are you greedy in one example but not in the other. It comes down to the finite number of slices. If you take more than your share, then you are selfish and greedy. However, if there were unlimited slices of pizza and you ate until you were satisfied then no one would mind.

When it comes to money, there is no “limit”. Today, currency is not bound to gold as it once was. When we need more money, it just gets printed. Therefore, earning as much money as possible is not a selfish act since you are not taking it away from anyone else. Assuming you are earning your income ethically and with good values.

The second part is “than is needed”. Let’s face it, we all need money. Even though we may say that money is not important, we all know that is a lie. We need money to pay our bills. The irony, is that the more money you HAVE, the less money you NEED. If Donald Trump were to visit your city, how much would he need to pay? Nothing! Everyone would be happy to have him as a guest. He would likely spend a lot of money and even donate to a local charity while he is in town because that is what wealthy people do! However, he doesn't “need” money because he has plenty. Those who “need” money are those who don’t have it, and often times, they tend to justify their lack by saying things like... “Money is not important”.

I now believe that I am not alone and that there are many people who believe as I do that the world is filled with abundance and love. We do not have to make decisions based on fear that someone is going to get ahead of us. Instead, we can use each other to propel ourselves higher. Find someone with similar visions and goals of achievement and use each other to bounce ideas off of and more importantly for encouragement and recognition.

In large cities, it may be easier to find like minded individuals that are ready for success and abundance. In smaller cities it may be harder to find those who want to achieve financial freedom. I think a lot of the reason is because people like me left the small town. However, I've come back and I am confident that there are many more like me... Are you one of them?

Are you Marketing or are you Selling?

Think about a few of the purchases that you've been most excited about. Let me ask you a question. Did you have to be sold on those purchases? Of course not. I remember when I bought my electric guitar. I knew exactly what I wanted. I had done the research, and I knew what I was looking for.

The truth is that people love to buy, but they hate to be sold. The challenge in Network Marketing is that when a person gets "sold" they know it and it makes them feel horrible. What do you think the chances are of this new distributor building the business if they feel that way? The last thing they want is to make others feel that way as well.

It is clear to me that there is great confusion around the term "Marketing". It's not only people who are new to the Network Marketing industry that are confused, but even many experienced professionals.

I know you've heard it before... "Join now, no selling involved!"

Of course that's not 100% true... How can you generate any income if you aren't selling anything?

Let me attempt to clarify what is meant by this... and how the majority of the people who are using this line, don't even follow their own advice.

There is a major difference between Marketing and Selling. Marketing is the process of getting yourself out there. It's about letting customers know that you have something to offer. I've seen it described as "relationship building". I really like that description, because that is truly the best way to build a Network Marketing business. If you have a solid marketing plan then you should have people coming to you. Now your objective is to show them how they can use your marketing plan to succeed... and they don't even have to hound their friends and family to do it.